Always Gourry
by Crazy4TR112
Summary: A short fic about what keeps Zelgadis from breaking down entirely. A little ZelGourry yaoi slash...ah, unrequited love. This is my first Slayers fanfic!


**Always Gourry******

  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers or its characters. Please don't sue the helpless fishmonger.   
  


"Oh, isn't this a perfect day?"   
Gentle, white clouds drifted slowly across the light blue sky above the gang as they rested in the field. Amelia was sprawled out in front of Lina and Gourry who were sitting side by side underneath the shade of a tall tree.   
"I could stay here forever," Amelia sighed.   
Zelgadis heard Amelia's voice in the back of his head, but he wasn't really listening. He sat a bit away from the group on the rough surface of a large rock. His cape was ruffled by the light breeze that blew through him, but he paid it no mind. It was just one of those days. One of those days where everyone was happy and content but him. Zelgadis hated days like this. It seemed like he was always gloomy and depressed, and on these days it was like he was ruining it for everyone else. As self-centered an individual as Zelgadis was read, he wasn't insensitive.   
He could remember days when he wasn't so serious and miserable. Days before he was turned into the…monster he was.   
_Damn you, Rezo…_   
His life had been made a living nightmare. But it was ironic really. He had asked for more power…and Rezo had given it to him. Just not how he wanted it. But it was what he had asked for.   
_Gods, I should've been more specific. Is this your way of punishing me for asking for power? Are you truly that cruel? Even so…haven't I learned? Don't I deserve to be turned back now? If not…then what else can I do?_   
He sighed and closed his eyes. The sight of all the happiness of life around him was making him sick. Everyone and everything around him was so full of satisfaction and joy…he felt so out of place.   
_Maybe…if I went far from this place…_   
It wasn't very often that Zelgadis thought of suicide. No matter how bad things got, it wasn't so awful that he wanted to end his life. But recently, it had been a definite consideration.   
_Something keeps holding me back… What is it that is so important, that it stops me from ending a life that has only lead to emptiness?_   
"Hey Zel, something wrong?"   
Zelgadis' eyes opened as the light sound of Gourry's voice. He turned his head a little to look at Gourry as he seated himself next to him on the edge of the rock.   
"Don't worry about it, Gourry… It's nothing you would understand."   
Gourry stared at him for a minute before he gave him a small smile.   
"Thinking about finding your cure again?"   
"It's all I do think about, Gourry. You would too…if you were in my place."   
Gourry shrugged.   
"I don't know. Sure it must be pretty bad to be made of stone and have wire for hair…"   
_Pretty blunt, aren't we?_   
Zelgadis sighed.   
"But…you still enjoy your life, don't you?"   
"What?"   
Zelgadis stared at him.   
_Enjoy my life? My life? Enjoy a life full of failure? Enjoy a life where every time I come close to finding a cure, it leaves me with nothing? Enjoy my life?_   
Gourry nodded.   
"Yeah. You know, traveling with us. Don't you enjoy it?"   
Zelgadis looked away from him. He hadn't really thought about it…   
"I…don't know…"   
"Besides, I'm sure you'll find your cure someday. It's gotta be out there somewhere, right? So if we all keep looking for it, we'll find it eventually!"   
Zelgadis turned to look at him slowly.   
" 'If we all'…?"   
Gourry blinked and nodded.   
"Yeah…you know, me, Lina, Amelia… Your friends!"   
_My friends…_   
Zelgadis looked into Gourry's eyes…his deep blue eyes full of sincerity.   
_When I'm feeling at my worst…like I can't go on…all I have to do is think of you, Gourry. You're always so…carefree and airy. It's your innocence that reminds of all the things I loved about life before. All the things…I do love about life. All the things…I love about you._   
Gourry, noting Zelgadis' silence, became a little concerned. He reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder.   
"You okay, Zel?"   
Zelgadis felt his touch and slowly nodded.   
"Yes. Yes, Gourry, I'm fine."   
Gourry smiled brightly.   
"That's good!"   
Zelgadis watched him get up and walk back over to Lina. He felt a little twinge of sadness and looked away. He didn't know why he let himself get all happy when Gourry was around him. He knew how he felt about Lina. He saw the way he looked at her.   
_But it doesn't really matter to me. Because in the end…when it all boils down to it…it's Gourry that keeps me alive. Even after we've all parted ways…Gourry's innocence will always be there, reminding me…as Amelia says…that life is wonderful. It always will be. As long as you stay…always Gourry._

**End.**   
  



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